Gold digger?

I can't be bought, but I can be rented.

Kurt Cobain

As wrong as this may sound, I'm glad Kurt Cobain killed himself. I mean as much as I heart Nirvana, I would be sorely sad if Foo Fighters never existed.

in regards to the new dress

I don't normally say this but, I would fuck myself in this outfit.

fan

Of course, I am a big fan of my finger.

On Batista's autobiography

I read Batista's autobiography in two hours because he never got a high school diploma... I want to get him to sign it, but if he asks me how it was all I could say is 'you were honest...' I sat down at starbucks and was like 'I'm done and I still have coffee.'

on black men

I was like 'who is this black man running in front of my car? No, I don't want to buy a CD.'

in regards to his ass

That's a hard ass. It doesn't jiggle. It just goes... when you smack it.

cool

I am cooler than thou.

the beginning of the rant

I have come to the conclusion that most people are only concerned about two things: what to eat and who to fuck.

this time he didnt try

"It's almost sex good."

more gems from the weekend

"Don't choke. Just swallow."

"[I'm] not getting fresh, just trying to find the hole."

***Thank you to a very dear coworker for these.

only because if I dont post now I will forget...

Tonight provided some real gems, but the greatest were saved for posterity... there is only one that I will share: "There is a red headed troll up my ass! Why is there a red headed troll up my ass?"

A friend on MySpace had this as a caption for a picture...

My left arm- "A gushing bride."

someone who tried

I'm like a cheetah when it comes to girls. I'll chase you hard for a short distance, after that I'm waiting for slower game to come along.

Just to Start Things Off:

These are some that I have been holding on to and one new one from today:

"Let's see if you can suck a sheet up his asshole. Give him a blowjob"

"Off like a promdress, lickity-clit"

"It's not like drinking high balls all night and jizzing in her mouth... I hear that's bad."

"That was some real jiggle, not no fake jiggle"

"I like my women fack: a cross between fat & thick, but more on the fat side."


Today's quote from a dear friend:

me: "well it's a good thing that you love yourself."
he: "And I do, nightly."