Coachella Message Board

Jane, here's the thing: when I eat pussy, the pussy stays ate. It doesn't go back to its boyfriend. It follows me around like a puppy in the pound, whimpering for me to adopt it. Would you like some tips?

Morning phone call

"Adderall & Oxycontin are approved drugs for my nostrils."

"I'm just going to do a lot of drugs and wait for her to show up-- that's how you get the girls; doing drugs alone in your apartment and waiting."

Redneck Catfight

"Lick my left pussy lip, bitch, 'cause I only shave the right!"

*Thanks, Austen!

hit

1: Is she cute?
me: She's alright...
1: Would I hit it?
me: I don't know, I don't know who you'd hit
2: Any dumb bitch that tries to get smart.

surprise

"You'd be amazed at the things I can shove up my ass."

Love?

"Yes! Have me doggy style and explain the pythagorean theorem. Missionary while he talks about theory of realtivity... excuse me, I was having a moment."