"There is nothing more demeaning than pulling a condom out of your ass."
"He doesn't know I have a degree in deepthroat."
"They are going to take a dump on my taco but I don't care-- at least it's crispy"
"I started my rag today so if anyone wants to floss with my tampon..."
"So you borrowed $50 dollars from your mom to make a business card; that don't mean you're shit!"
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